Relationship Test

Below is a short test to help you judge how your relationship is doing. It is not scientific, but does present several realities that many of us encounter during a relationship. It is only meant to make you think about how strong your relationship is.

#1 My relationship now is:
(a) Very hot.
(b) Great, and I am happy with it as it is.
(c) Okay, but it's been better.
(d) Im not too happy, but I don't want to throw it away.
(e) I want out!

#2 Things that happened (the romance) when were were still dating:
(a) Are still happening, I look forward to the little things like romantic dinners.
(b) Still happen but not as often.
(c) Are missing in action.

#3 When I see someone that I feel attracted to:
(a) I just smile at them.
(b) I smile and have a momentary thought about them.
(c) I imagine myself with them.
(d) I would attempt to get to know them.

#4 My thoughts about having a lover on the side:
(a) Never crosses my mind.
(b) I find the though exciting, and I may fantasize when making love.
(c) Is always on my mind, and should the opportunity present itself, I would move on it.
(d) Is a reality, I have one now.

#5 The person that I am in a relationship with now:
(a) Still has the same goals and interests as me.
(b) Is moving in another direction. It seems we met at a crossroad in life.

#6  Finding time for my partner:
(a) Is never a problem. We always set aside time each day for each other.
(b) Is somewhat difficult. It seems that other things tend to consume all the time a day has to offer.
(c) Is next to impossible. But I still try.

#7 If I could do it all over again:
(a) I would not change a thing.
(b) I would make some minor adjustments.
(c) I would make some major adjustments.
(d) I would not.

Scoring: a = 0   b = 1  c = 2  d = 3  e = 4

Score 0 - 2   It would seem your relationship is in good shape.
Score 3 - 5   It would seem things have been better but still in good shape.
Score 6 - 9   It would seem some maintenance is required.
Score 10+    It would seem that your relationship has some serious problems. 

The road of life Test
Many people have asked me about their relationship. The most common question is will it last. The answer to this is very simple. Relationships that last the longest are the relationships with common interests. If you enjoy going out and partying, and your partner would much rather curl up with a good book.... Well you can see what I am talking about. Eventually you will be spending less and less time together to do the things you like to do. So here is how the test works. When you have some time alone get a piece of paper and a pen. Don't use a pencil because you must think carefully before you write.  Write on the paper the sections below (or just print the PDF file) . Allow space to write your answers. Road of life test.pdf
10 years ago
5 Years ago.
3 Years ago.
1 year ago.
1 year from now.
3 years from now.
5 years from now.
10 years from now.

Then apply the questions to the appropriate sections:
What was important to me?
What is important to me today?
What are my goals in the future?

Then take this paper and place it in a sealed envelope. Then have your partner do the same, but they must be alone without any influence from you when they take the test.

After you both have answered the questions compare them. Check to see if you are traveling in the same direction on the same road of life. Or did you meet at a intersection and now are traveling apart. Note your future goals as of today may change as new opportunities come up over the years. So only use this as a snapshot of today. This again is not scientific but only meant to help you answer your own questions. It will help you think about the future.

(The section below was added because of several e-mails that had the same questions)

If your partner delays doing the test after repeated requests you may want to look at that as a yellow flag. it probably means they are trying to guess what your answers will be and not what they would put. Honesty is very important in any relationship. It only takes 10 to 15 minutes to do the test. If your partner gets angry at you for asking them to do the test, then this is a red flag. It probably means that there is real insecurity in doing the test. Common responses may be to make you apologize for asking them to do the test. It may also involve manipulative behavior like crying. This is a very big red flag. This could mean that they are totally dependent on you and they are making personal sacrifices to keep the relationship. This could be from deep love or your just a meal ticket. In ether case it probably means they are not truly as happy as they could be. Other reason could be that you partner has suffer through an abusive relationship before this one and somehow this may trigger negative emotions. Keep in mind the reason for the test is to help you answer valid questions that you are entitled to know. If any of the above happen, you need to look at the whole thing from a third persons view. This is helpful in removing emotion and looking at this with greater clarity. Also don't make any snap judgments, wait about two days and ask them why they acted that way. Depending on how long the relationship has lasted so far, you should know if you are asking something you should not. If you have only been seeing them for a month or two, it may be too soon to expect a answer. However if it has been a year or more you should be entitled to know. At this point you should be able to decide if professional help is needed or not.

How in tune are you with your partner?

Answer these 22 questions and then see below to find out what your answers mean.
1. I can name my partner's best friends.
2. I know what stresses my partner is currently facing.
3. I know the names of some people who have been irritating my partner lately.
4. I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams.
5. I know my partner's basic philosophy of life.
6. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.
7. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.
8. When we're apart, I think fondly of my partner.
9. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately.
10. My partner really respects me.
11. There is passion in our relationship.
12. Romance is still part of our relationship.
13. My partner appreciates the things I do.
14. My partner likes my personality.
15. Our sex life is mostly satisfying.
16. At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me.
17. My partner is one of my best friends.
18. We just love talking to each other.
19. There is lots of give and take (both people have influence) in our discussions.
20. My partner listens respectfully even when we disagree.
21. My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver.
22. We generally mesh well on basic values and goals in life.

What your answers mean:
15 or more positive answers: You have a lot of strength in your relationship.
8 to 14 positive answers: This is a pivotal time in your relationship as there are strengths you can build upon, but do focus on the weaknesses that need your attention.
7 or fewer: Your relationship may be in serious trouble and could be headed for the rocks. If you're concerned about this, it means you probably still value the relationship enough to get help.

Need more?

I receive emails from all around the world with people asking me about their relationship. I do my best to answer all of them in a timely manor. If you have a question about a relationship problem please provide the following information in your email. Because different parts of the world view relationships in different lights, it is important for me to know your beliefs and about the culture of your upbringing.

* Your age.
* Your location (culture).
* Your gender.
* Their age.
* Their location (culture).
* Their gender.
* How long have you been together.
* Any other specific information.
Click here to send your email
Back to sexual elements page - Back to relationship page - Home - Contact
Home Page ] Become an Alpha ] Bio ] Clinical Hypnotherapy ] Contact ] De-Programming ] Enhancement Hypnosis ] Expanded General Hypnotherapy ] General Hypnotherapy ] Medical Hypnotherapy ] Sexual Issues ] Smoking Cessation ] Stress management ] Stroke ] Pain Management ] Medical Tourism ] Public Events ] Using Skype ] Website Map ] BLOG ]